Wish she would hear all of this.

Wow, so life is fucking crazy right.
My mom always said I don’t fuck up often, but when I do the whole world knows about it.

*Pause*

This isn’t going to be a rant or a bitchfest, just airing out the room.

So, Basic Training was far from stressful. Too easy actually.
The hard part was being away from her with limited contact.
But we managed..until the end.
I’m still praying that it was just all the stress.

I deserve better than her?
Who the fuck am I? Some punk ass kid from a small ass town who hasn’t accomplished much in life.
I’ve done her wrong just as much as she has me.
But the funny thing about marriage is you learn to work past those issues. That’s what makes the bond stronger.
I hate the fact that she thinks I’m something I’m not.
Yes, I’m offering to help her with anything and everything she needs.
For christ’s sake, she is my wife. Not even that, she put me here.
Everything I am today is because of her. 
When you put your life on the back burner to straighten mine out, bet your ass I’m going to return the favor. Regardless of the price.

I think she feels like being married means her social life will put put on hold. 
Contrary to that silly notion, I want nothing more than her to go out and have all the fun she can.
I sat and watched her be confined to her house for nearly 3 years.
She deserves to go out and do whatever the hell she wants. I’m nobody to try and stop her.
I hate the fact that she is still standing by her outrageous concept of what we have become and it’s not a big deal.
It is.
It is a situation. No matter how much she down plays it.

Whether it’s us staying together or not is not the point.
It’s about her happiness.
That’s what matters to me. 
Fuck everything and everyone else. The day she said “I love you too,” is the day she became my main priority. 
No matter how often I lost sight of that. Whether it took me realizing how much I took her for granted or not, that’s the point.
I would fucking hate it if it came down to signing papers, but if it meant that she would be happy I would do it in a heartbeat.

It’s not fair for her to tell me what I deserve, or for her to tell me that she fell out of love with me when I haven’t been around in three months.
Life ain’t fair? Fuck it.
Let me decide if a situation is bad for me or not.
If she were to sit there and look at all of our old pictures it would be impossible for her to tell me she doesn’t love me anymore.
If she were to fall asleep on my chest, cuddle up, watch a movie, go out to eat, or just spend alone time with me it would be impossible for her to say that.

If you happen to be reading this, I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Know I would be willing to walk to the end of this earth if it meant you would be happy.
I would start from day one and make you fall back in love with me all over again.
You are my best friend.
My fucking shoulder to lean on, my support, my heart.
That will never change.
I put it on my life. 

Replace with your name.

I wish she knew I’d do anything

To kiss the tears right off her face,
Tell her everything’s okay,
Feel her heart beat next to mine,
And make up for lost time.
It’s too late to save me,
But there’s still hope for saving Amy. 

Four day week muthalova. And one day down so far. Thia month is going to fly by. I cannot wait to get home.

If It Means A Lot To You

If you can wait ‘til I get home, Then I swear to you that we can make this last, If you can wait ‘til I get home, Then I swear come tomorrow this will all be in our past, Well it might be for the best.

Fuck You Tumblr

I tried to upload a picture.
Of myself.
For once.

And you fucked it up for me.
Asshat. 

Hooah for Sundays!!!

Typical Sunday at Ft. Sill:

Wake up at 7:40.
First Formation: 8:00.
Chow.
Barracks/Room Maint.(Nap time.)
Pass starts at 1300(1:00.)
Final Formation at 1800(6:00.)

Me and my battle have fully optimized the day for nap time/down time.
Fuck walking to the PX.
Fuck the gym.

PT pants and shirt, my bed, my laptop, phone, and music are all I need today.
:) 

Graduate from Basic Training today?

‘Bout fucking time. :) I’ll be keeping up with this from now on.

Really?